Author Greg S. Baker

Captain Jordan Gieseler stood at the helm of his newly christened frigate and gazed over the waters of the Atlantic with deep satisfaction. They were finally on their way. Finally able to do what the Jolly Crusader was built to do: hunt pirates. The Jolly Crusader was a three masted, sleek, fourth-rate ship of the line, sporting 46 cannons, including four at the aft and two in the bow.

Despite her purpose, the shipwrights, by design, had built her to look more like a merchant ship than a warship. The seemingly innocent appearance of the Jolly Crusader would hopefully lull unsuspecting corsairs into thinking they had an easy victory. But by moving false walls, all 46 guns could sprout from the hull and be brought to bear in a matter of moments.

Jordan looked forward to blowing some greedy pirate ship right out of the water. He had the ship to do it. He had the will for it. He had everything except…he turned his eyes from the blue waters ahead to his main concern: his crew. They’d given him the dregs of society for this mission. He couldn’t imagine a more haphazard collection of miscreants and castaways.

His first mate, One-Eye Jacen, scowled like a thunderstorm at anyone and everyone. He’d lost most of his teeth in some fight years ago and with the patch over his right eye, he looked more like a pirate than most pirates. Then there was Pegleg Annaliza. She was the ship’s boatswain, her task was to keep the rest of the crew on task. Her peg leg, a replacement for what a happy shark had once took at the knee, meant she stomped around, making quite the racket with that wooden peg leg. Not as surly as Jacen, she nevertheless derived pleasure from using her whip to lash the back of anyone unfortunate enough to be caught being lazy. Jordan figured he knew how One-Eye Jacen had lost an eye.

The rest of the crew went downhill from there: Hairy-Nose Azaiah, Fat-Lip Natalee, Six-Toes Luke, Cannonball Hannah (don’t ask)—and worst of all was the ship’s cook: Sweetie-Pie Brayden. How’d he ever get a nickname like that?

Jordan’s musings came to an abrupt end when a piercing wolf’s howl sounded over the entire ship. Jordan’s eyes snapped up to the crows nest high on the center mast of the ship. A grinning face peered down at him. “That’s a crows nest!” Jordan shouted up. “Not a wolf’s den!”

Blind-as-a-Bat Niko shrugged an insolent apology, flapped his arms, ca-cawed like a crow, and then pointed to the horizon. “Ship ho!”

“Where away?” Jordan demanded, looking in that direction.

“That away!” Blind-as-a-Bat Niko said, pointing in a totally new direction.

Jordan sighed. There might be a ship out there. Who knew? The only reason Blind-as-a-Bat had the job of lookout was because he was the only one brave enough to climb the rigging to the crows nest. Guess you couldn’t be afraid of heights if you couldn’t see the heights. But Jordan couldn’t risk doing nothing. Something might indeed be out there. If they had found a pirate ship already, they needed to be ready.
Jordan addressed One-Eye Jacen. “Prepare for battle!”

One-Eye Jacen began barking orders, and aided by Pegleg Annaliza, they soon had the crew moving. Sails were trimmed, the deck cleared of non-essential items, gunpowder and cannonballs rolled out to their respective gun mounts, and every inch of wood doused with water to help reduce the chances of a fire spreading.

All of this happened at a snail’s pace, highlighted when Graceless Gracie dropped a cannonball on Clueless Amia’s foot. This, of course, started a fight, so Squid-Face Layla and Fish-Bait Aylin began taking bets on the winner.

Clueless Amia had the upper hand, shoving Graceless Gracie’s face into a water barrel, but the fight ended when Pegleg Annaliza used her whip to gouge out a four-inch-long grove in the deck near Clueless Amia’s feet. One-Eye Jacen declared Graceless Gracie the winner and forced Fish-Bait Aylin to hand over several gold doubloons.

Not all that long ago, Captain Jordan would have screamed himself hoarse at his new crew, berating them for laziness and incompetency. But he felt certain that the voyage itself was a test. Commodore Yancy had sent him out into the deep just to see how he’d handle such a deadbeat crew. Jordan’s solution was to simply ignore them. He’d decide at the last minute if he could afford to engage a pirate ship. He figured the crew would shape up when things became dangerous.

One-Eye Jacen appeared next to him, squinting out over the water and said, “There be something on the horizon, captain.”

Jordan looked harder. There did indeed appear to be something. He asked, “A ship?”

“Likely. Nothing else around for hundreds of miles,” One-Eye reported.

“Is the crew ready, first-mate?” Jordan demanded.

“Aye, Captain,” Jacen replied. “As ready as this sorry lot will ever be.”

They watched in silence for a time, Jordan making minute adjustments on the helm, steering the Jolly Crusader toward the growing dot on the horizon. It was indeed a ship, but not like one he expected. The other ship flew no colors. The sails had been furled but looked in good shape. In fact, Jordan couldn’t find a single thing wrong with the other ship. Except he saw nary a soul on board. The ship appeared derelict. This made Jordan nervous. Why would anyone abandon a perfectly good ship? Several reasons came to mind. The crew had all died of disease. Slavers had stolen the crew and set the ship adrift. The ship had been moored, but the tide had taken it out to sea while the crew was ashore.

Jacen shivered next to Jordan and said, “Tis a ghost ship. Mark my words, this is ill wrought. We should stay away.”

But Pegleg Annaliza disagreed. “I know that ship. That’s the Jane Doe. She was sent to the Americas to bring back treasure. Gold. Lots of it. She was escorted by four ships of the line when she left last year.”

Jordan peered around, wondering if the ship was a trap. “Where’s her escort then?” he asked.
Pegleg shrugged. “They wouldn’t abandon her without reason. I’m sure of it.”

One-Eye Jacen had been gnawing on a knuckle, his eye patch scrunched up as he glared at the derelict ship. “What if there be treasure aboard?” He turned to the captain. “Crew’s cut, captain?”

The “crew’s cut” meant the captain received 10% of the total treasure while the crew each got an equal portion of the remainder and officers receiving a double portion. This was the law of the sea, and any captain who got extra greedy and wanted to keep it all often faced a very angry crew—and mutiny. Jordan knew exactly what Jacen wanted. He wanted to board the Jane Doe. Maritime laws said that whatever they found would be theirs. Jordan sighed and nodded his agreement. “Crew’s cut.”

If the Jane Doe was indeed carrying gold, even 10% would make him wealthy, but he sure wished he could get his hands on more. He had a lot of uses for a treasure as might be found on the other ship. With that much gold, he could buy a true commission in the Royal Navy, perhaps even captain a galleon or command a squadron of pirate hunters. His name would forever be etched in glory! Most commissions were bought by lords and the sons of lords. Jordan didn’t have the name or the money to purchase such a commission. If he was lucky, he could be promoted in twenty years or so. But if he had the gold…well that would change everything.

“Boarding party, Captain?” Pegleg Annaliza asked.

“Aye, and I’ll be coming as well.”

One-Eye Jacen gave him that look that the entire crew knew so well. It had suspicion written all over it. Well, Jacen could think what he wanted. It wasn’t that Jordan didn’t trust his crew. It was…well…yeah…he simply didn’t trust them.

The Jane Doe moved closer as Jordan navigated his ship to come along side. His crew stood tensely, ready to unleash a firestorm of cannon fire and grape shot into the other ship if it showed even the slightest signs of pirate activity.

“You look worried, captain,” One-Eye Jacen said. “What’s on yer mind?”

Jordan nodded. “I fear a trap.”

“A trap? You think pirates are hiding onboard somewhere?” Annaliza asked.

“Maybe,” Jordan conceded. “But there could be a booby-trap. What if we trigger something and it sets the entire ship on fire while we’re over there?”

Alarmed, Annaliza shouted, “Fire!”

Ah the trouble the tongue doth weave!

Annaliza’s alarmed shout had an entirely different and unfortunate consequence. Though entirely unintentional, Clueless Amia took it as an order and shouted with gusto, “Fire!” Her command floated over the entire deck and down to the gun crews waiting with itchy trigger fingers on the gun deck.

Cannonball Hannah heard it and screamed, “Fire!”

The gun crews of the Jolly Crusader gleefully obeyed and unleashed a fiery broadside at point blank range right into the hull of the Jane Doe. Cannon balls ripped through wood, smashing deep into the hull. Grape shot whizzed through the air like a thousand shotgun blasts all at once, ripping sails to shreds, splintering the masts, and snapping lines off all over the ship. Jordan stared in astonishment. It was full broadside of destruction. Immediately, the Jane Doe took on a list as water began to pour in through some of the newly formed holes.

“Cease fire!” Jordan roared, hopping around and waving his arms to clear the smoke billowing up around him from the gunfire. “Cease fire! What are you doing?!”

Clueless Amia pointed at Pegleg Annaliza. “She said to fire!”

“No I didn’t!” Annaliza protested.

Hairy-Nose Azaiah came up to the captain. “It’s a good thing she did,” he said, giving Amia a sly look, the hair sticking out of his nose quivering with amusement. “I saw a rabbit on the enemy deck. Those floppy ears looked extremely dangerous!” He started laughing at his own joke.

Amia sized up the hairy-nosed pirate reject and calmly punched him in the nose. The blow flung Azaiah back to tumble down the stairs in a haphazard pile of arms and legs. He sprawled on his back, one hand holding his crushed nose. “Whth’d ysss des thhait?” he yelled up at a smug Amia.

“Your nose hairs needed trimming,” Clueless Amia answered sweetly.

“Okay. Okay,” Jordan said impatiently, “get the boarding party ready to go. If we don’t find the treasure before the ship sinks, we’ll get nothing!”

That galvanized the crew. Grappling hooks arched out over the water to latch the two ships together and hopefully keep the wounded ship afloat long enough so they could find and retrieve any treasure. And as one, much of the crew—whether they had been invited to or not—jumped across to the stricken Jane Doe.

Jordan knew that the treasure would either be in the hold or the captain’s quarters. The hold was already filling with water, so that is where he went first. Sunlight streamed in from the perforated hull, giving Jordan plenty of light to see by. The hold was full of wooden crates. He’d need to pry open the nailed crates. “Crowbar!” Jordan shouted. Already the water had reached his ankles.

A lanky, skinny sailor slid down the steps to splash into the water. “Ye called, captain?” he asked.

Jordan pointed to the crates. “I need to get these open, Crowbar.”

Crowbar Richard nodded. The sailor looked like a crowbar. His ability to bend into different shapes gave him a unique ability to leverage his strength. In this case, he eyed the crate, formed his hand into a hatchet, gave a piercing scream, and karate-chopped the lid of the first crate. The wood barely cracked under the blow, but Richard howled in pain, hopping around and holding his injured hand.

“Not that way,” Jordan yelled. “Are you crazy? Use your head!”

Richard stopped hopping. “Oh,” he said, looking sheepishly at his hand. He turned back to the crate, gave a piercing scream—but this time, instead of using his hand—he smashed his head into the crate. The wood could not hold up to such power. It splintered into pieces. Crowbar Richard stood up straight and smiled. “How’s that?”

“Perfect. Get the rest of them open,” Jordan ordered.

While Crowbar Richard went about opening the crates with his head, Jordan examined the first one. Textiles—clothing and cloth. Not even silk. Nothing of real value. He methodically checked each of the crates, joined by a few others of his crew. Eventually, they all gave up.

“There’s no treasure down here!” Pea-Brain Kelvin complained. The sailor’s nickname was aptly earned. He had a talent for stating the obvious.

“The captain’s quarters?” Barnacle Brenna suggested.
That would be the other place treasure could be found. A mad rush ensued where Stink-a-Lot Jayden and Seadog Sonja fought each other to be first up the steps. Jordan followed at a more leisurely pace, refusing to show his own impatience (and to keep a good distance away from Stink-a-Lot). Though with the water level now nearly to his knees, they did need to hurry.

Jordan found One-Eye Jacen trying to chop open the captain’s door with an axe. Pea-Brain Kelvin stated the obvious: “The door is locked!”

One-Eye stopped when they all gathered around, eyeing Jordan, his single eye angry. He demanded, “I claim the treasure inside.”

“You get the crew’s cut like we agreed,” Jordan shot back at his first mate.

Frustrated, Jacen smacked the axe into the lock again, shattering it. The door swung open on rusty hinges. Jordan couldn’t see anything in the gloomy interior. But he pulled One-Eye back from rushing in.

“Captain’s privilege,” Jordan said. “I get to go first.”

One-Eye Jacen shared a meaningful look with Pegleg Annaliza. That look practically oozed suspicion, but Jordan decided to ignore it. He was too excited about the treasure that may lie within the abandoned captain’s quarters. He walked in, trying not to look too anxious. It took a moment for his eyes to adjust while much of the crew piled in behind him.

The cabin had a hammock strung between two poles off to one side (no one slept in an actual bed on a ship). An oaken table, nailed to the floor, graced the center of the room. An open sea chest rested against one wall, filled with maps, navigational equipment, and a logbook. The logbook might offer a clue as to what had happened to the crew, but Jordan would look through that later. Right now, his eyes were drawn to the girl chained to the far wall of the cabin.

The thin girl, despite being chained wrists and ankles, glared at the intruders. Splintered wood and glass surrounded her. She raised her chin, which gave her the appearance of looking down her nose at everyone, and demanded, “Which one of you idiots nearly killed me? That cannonball nearly took off my head!” She gestured with her head to the hole in the wall right above her.

As one, everyone pointed to Cannonball Hannah. She preened under the attention, examining her fingernails. “Nice shooting, if I don’t say so myself.”

“You nearly killed me!” the chained girl shouted.

Cannonball Hannah rolled her eyes. “What a drama queen,” she muttered, making sure everyone could hear.

“I’m not a queen,” the girl shot back angrily. “I’m a princess. An Aztec princess. My name is Princess Arabella. You can call me Princess Bella.”

Annaliza frowned. “How does an Aztec Princess know how to speak English?”

Princess Bella rolled her eyes and snorted in disgust. “Do I look like the author of this stupid story?”

Jordan didn’t know how to respond to that, so he moved on. But an Aztec princess likely meant Aztec gold. He moved over to her and knelt to look her in the eyes. “Where’s the treasure?” he asked.

A sly look crossed Bella’s face. “This ship is sinking. If you free me, I’ll show you.”

Something wasn’t right. Jordan couldn’t put his finger on it. “What happened to the crew?” he asked. “Why are you the only one left?”

Bella’s eyes shifted off to the side. “It’s a long story, involving a headless ghost, an Aztec curse, and baby sharks. Lots of baby sharks…and pudding. Yeah. Pudding too. Chocolate.”

Sweetie-Pie Brayden pumped a fist. “I love chocolate pudding!”

“Are you saying the treasure is cursed?” Hairy-Nose Azaiah demanded.

Princess Bella looked at Azaiah. “What happened to you? Your hair fall through your face and get stuck in your nose? And then someone sat on it?”

Clueless Amia held out her fist. “Naw, he smashed his nose into my fist. Purely accidental, I’m sure.”

Azaiah bristled, his eyes going flat as he looked between the two girls.

Jordan headed off what would likely be a fight, and despite the princess being chained up, he wouldn’t put it past her to somehow win. Bella had a tongue that could slice through steel as easily as a hot knife through butter. Azaiah didn’t stand a chance. He interrupted, “If we free you, you’ll tell us where the treasure is?”

Bella nodded. “If you get me off this sinking tub, I’ll even tell you how to lift the curse so that what happened to the crew doesn’t happen to you. Deal?” She spat into her open palm and held it out for a handshake to seal the deal.

Jordan supposed she was the strangest Aztec Princess ever. Still, he figured he could do one better. “Blackbeard,” he called to one of his crew. “Get over here and shake the princess’s hand.”

A slip of a girl with blond hair stepped forward. “Aye-aye Captain,” she said, not sporting any facial hair at all and was likely never to do so. But Blackbeard Melanie had come by her nickname honestly. She’d once taken a razor and shaved off the beards of every admiral in the royal navy while they slept. She then had the hair woven into a jacket. She claimed the hairy jacket kept her face warm. Jordan didn’t even understand that. The admirals had sent Melanie on the Jolly Crusader just to get rid of her and to keep their beards safe.

Blackbeard Melanie slapped the princess’ outstretched hand and then casually wiped her hand clean on Jordan’s shirt. Figures. Jordan ordered, “Crowbar, get her loose.”

Richard did his thing, and in a short time, Princess Bella stood a free woman among the crew of the Jolly Crusader.

“Where’s the treasure?” One-Eye Jacen demanded, pushing his way forward to glare at the princess. But Bella would have none of it. She stretched, rubbing her wrists, and then she yawned.

But Six-Toes Luke had a different concern and asked, “What about this curse? What happened to the crew?” He wore no shoes or boots, his six toes on each foot wiggling in his agitation, like a nest of snakes. Gross.

The Aztec princess grinned, taking in the entire crew with a single look. “The crew stole the diamond of Itzcoatl, the largest and most precious diamond ever.” She held up a fist. “It’s this big, and likely can buy the entire country of England. Whoever owns it can be king of any country. Or queen.” She looked directly at Pegleg Annaliza when she said that last. Jordan wondered why.

In fact, Jordan again wondered why an Aztec Princess could speak such clear English and even knew about England. Something still wasn’t right. But he couldn’t figure out what it was. “And the curse?” he demanded. “What’s the curse? What happened to the crew?”

Bella’s eyes widened. “Whoever gazes into the many facets of the jewel will be driven mad and die. That’s what happened to the crew. They went crazy, slathered themselves in chocolate pudding, thought they saw a headless ghost, and jumped overboard. That’s when the baby sharks came. Lots of them.”

“They’re all dead?” Pegleg Annaliza asked.

“Shark bait,” Bella confirmed with a nod.

“Okay,” Jordan said. He could feel the Jane Doe settling. They needed to get the diamond and get off the ship before it sank. “How do we avoid the curse?”

Bella’s look turned sly. “Easy-peasy. Give the diamond to me and take me home. I’ll return it to my father, King Itzcoatl. No curse.”

“But then we get nothing!” Squid-Face Layla shouted, yanking on her tentacle-like hair.

“Oh, I’m sure the king will reward you,” Princess Bella said.

“Where’s the diamond?” Jacen demanded, his single eye trying to bore a hole into the princess’s face. Jordan wondered if the shifty first-mate could even smile if his life depended on it.

“I did warn you…” the princess sang out. She pointed to the open chest. “Look under the charts.”

A stampede ensued as the entire crew tried to get over to the sea chest at the same time. Jordan slogged his way through the mass of milling flesh, shoving sailors out of the way and not caring who he trampled over. He finally pushed his way to the chest and shoved everyone else back. “Just wait,” he yelled at everyone. “I’ll get it.”

The crew reluctantly pulled back, but he could see them practically salivating at the thought of the diamond. Jordan pawed through the papers, but eventually his hand closed over a fist-sized rock at the bottom of the chest. He carefully drew it out and opened his hand. There in his palm sat the largest, the most gorgeous diamond he’d ever seen in his life. The princess was right. With this diamond, he could do more than buy a commission in the Royal Navy. He could buy the entire navy!

Jacen growled low in his throat. “How are we going to get the crew’s cut from that?”

It was a problem. A huge problem. Something like this shouldn’t be cut into smaller pieces for it would devalue the overall diamond itself. The only possible solution was to sell it and then split the money with the entire crew. Jordan glanced around. Everyone seemed mesmerized by the jewel. “Let’s get onto the Jolly Crusader,” he said, “before this ship sinks. Then we’ll talk about the best way for everyone to get the crew’s cut.”

Reluctantly, the crew backed off and filed out of the cabin. But once out on deck, the situation became clear. The ship they’d shot full of holes had floundered, settling low in the water. It would go under soon enough. Hastily, they climbed back onto the Jolly Crusader and cut the lines tethering the two ships together. And none too soon either. With a groan, the Jane Doe tilted bow up and then slid under the waves, headed toward a watery grave.

That was close. Jordan turned around and found One-Eye Jacen and Pegleg Annaliza facing him. Both had cutlasses drawn and pointed at him, murder in their eyes. Jacen said, “Hand over the diamond, captain, and ye’ll not be hurt.”

Jordan’s eyes narrowed. “This is mutiny,” he growled.

Jacen shrugged. “So it be. I’ll be taking over as captain…and I’ll be taking the diamond.”

Several others of the crew had gathered behind Jacen and Annaliza, weapons drawn and looking like they intended to flay Jordan if he didn’t give up the valuable rock. “Why are you doing this?” Jordan demanded. “I’ll sell the diamond and we’ll split the money—the crew’s cut.”

Annaliza answered, “We get more if there’s less people to share it with.”

Jordan’s hackles rose. He didn’t like being threatened. “I’ll hang the both of you from the yardarm. You’ll walk the plank. No. Better yet, I’ll keelhaul you both until every inch of your skin has been peeled off.”

“We’re with you, Captain,” Six-Toes Luke said moving up next to Jordan. Others of the crew joined with Jordan, including Blackbeard Melanie, Crowbar Richard, Stink-a-Lot Jayden, and Graceless Gracie. But with Jacen stood Seadog Sonja, Squid-Face Layla, Fat-Lip Natalee, and Cannonball Hannah.

The rest of the crew quickly took sides as well, dividing up into two nearly equal groups, facing each other on the main deck of the Jolly Crusader. All that is except for Sweetie-Pie Brayden and Princess Bella. The Aztec princess waved to the two groups. “Brayden and I are hungry. We’ll be in the galley. Come find me when you’ve figured things out.” She and Brayden left, and Jordan could hear Brayden talking excitedly about chocolate pudding.

“I’ll be taking that shiny stone,” One-Eye Jacen said. “My brothers are in prison, and with that diamond, I can be purchasing a pardon for them.”

Jordan snorted. “With this, you could buy the prison and pardons for every prisoner in the country.”

Jacen shrugged and said, “I still be needing that rock.”

Jordan looked at Pegleg Annaliza. “And why do you want it?”

She said, “Me mother is sick and we cannot afford the doctors. It’s why I’m here. It’s the only chance my mother has, so I be needing that diamond as well, captain.”

“All good reasons,” Jordan said slowly. “But I’m afraid by this mutiny you have forfeited any right to this diamond or any part of it.”

Perhaps that wasn’t the best thing to say right about then, for Fat-Lip Natalee said, “Then we will take it from your cold, dead hands.”

And the fight started in earnest then. Both Jacen and Annaliza launched an attack against Jordan, but Jordan was an experienced swordsman and he deflected both swings at once. But because there were two of them, they forced him to back up. Then the rest of the crew shouted and launched themselves at each other. Only Jordan, Jacen, and Annaliza had real weapons. The rest of the crew settled for whatever they could find.

Cannonball Hannah flung a cannonball like a bowling ball at Toothless Melody. Melody never saw it coming and it rolled right over her foot. She yelled in pain, anger flaring in her eyes and she took a belaying pin and smashed Breath-O-Death Irvin over the head. The impact forced Breath-O-Death to let out a huge breath right in the face of Scallywag Shayla. The Scallywag’s eyes rolled up and she fainted away. In fact, so powerful was that single breath that Lobster-Legs Beth and Doomsday Destiny rushed to the gunwale and violently threw up every meal they’d eaten over the last year.

And Jordan didn’t even know what side any of them were on.

Jordan dodged a slicing cut from Jacen’s cutlass, dancing up the stairway to the quarterdeck and preventing both Jacen and Annaliza from ganging up at him. The pair exchanged a dozen blows, their swords ringing out over the ocean. Jordan managed to cut Jacen’s shirt, leaving a gash in the billowing sleeve, but otherwise the two seemed evenly matched.

Meanwhile, Pea-Brain Kelvin barely dodged a flask of gunpower thrown at him by Foul-Ball Danielle. That is until Barely-a-Trickle Brooke tripped him with a rope and began trussing Pea-Brain up hand and foot with the help of Seadog Sonja.

As entertaining as that would otherwise be, Jordan had his own problems trying to dodge both Jacen and Annaliza. Fortunately, Blackbeard Melanie appeared from nowhere, intercepting Pegleg Annaliza with a violin. Blackbeard used her makeshift weapon to knock Annaliza’s sword out of her hand. Melanie then proceeded to wield both fiddle and bow, brandishing them in every direction in a fury of activity. The pure ferociousness of it drove Annaliza back, leaving Jacen and Jordan to face off by themselves. Jordan had slipped the diamond into his jacket to free up his other hand and now the two, captain and first mate, circled each other with deadly intent.

“I want that diamond,” One Eye said. “Just give it to me and we’ll drop you off on some nice, deserted island somewhere.”

Jordan retorted, “Just surrender and I’ll let you walk the plank with all your limbs still attached.”

Jacen charged, his sword cutting through the air powerfully. Jordan parried, knocking the weapon away and then decided to use his larger body to advantage. He dropped his sword and tackled Jacen, forcing his opponent to release his own weapon. The two hit the deck hard and rolled over toward the gunwale. Jordan learned that Jacen, mostly arms and legs, had a wiry capacity that made pinning him down almost impossible, but Jordan used his greater strength to slam Jacen to the deck, trying to get a solid hold on his first mate.

“Is that all you got?” One-Eye growled, squirming around like a slippery eel.

“I’ll show you what I got,” Jordan retorted, picking Jacen up and attempting to throw him over the side of the ship. But Jacen clung to Jordan with bulldog tenacity, trying to poke his finger into Jordan’s eyeball.

While tussling around like that, they almost got run over by Hairy-Nose Azaiah. The hairy-nosed sailor had Seaweed Korbyn held high over his head only to launch Seaweed over the gunwale and into the ocean. Korbyn yelled, “Not again!”, for Hairy-Nose had been throwing Seaweed over the side about once a day since they had set sail.

But Teddy-Bear Bear got revenge for Seaweed, sneaking up and then smashing Hairy-Nose right in the nose with a belaying pin. Azaiah sat down on the deck, holding his bleeding nose, and sputtered, “Noth againg!” Teddy-Bear dashed away to menace someone else.

The entire fight had become a free-for-all. Jordan had no idea anymore who was on whose side. It seemed everyone simply took advantage of the opportunity to do violence upon their neighbor. The curse on the diamond had affected his entire crew. Everyone was going mad! This became starkly evident when Pegleg Annaliza fetched a cello from somewhere and was stomping after Blackbeard Melanie trying to bash the smaller girl over the head with it…cello versus violin. What a bizarre mess!

Jordan realized then that if something didn’t change, the crew would destroy themselves. With a surge of strength, he flung Jacen off him. One-Eye landed in a heap near one of the masts, but jumped up, cat-like, to continue the battle. However, Jordan had retrieved the diamond of Itzcoatl from his pocket and held it over the gunwale, prepared to drop it into the ocean.
Jordan roared over the cacophony, “Stop, you land-loving sea biscuits! Or I’ll drop the diamond in the drink!”

Everyone froze—well, almost everyone. Clueless Amia didn’t have a clue, and she dumped a barrel of freshwater over Doomsday Destiny, soaking the poor girl thoroughly and laughing outrageously until she finally noted that everyone else had stopped the fight. Looking abashed, Clueless shrugged and then pushed Destiny over. With the rain barrel still over her head, Destiny rolled across the deck and lived up to her nickname by smashing into one of the cannons and knocking it askew. And by some twist of misfortune, the most improbable thing happened. The cannon went off, shooting a cannonball into the main mast and snapping it right in half. Rigging and sails came crashing down, burying at least a dozen of the crew under sails and rigging. Doomsday indeed.

Cannonball Hannah thrust a fist into the air. “Great shot!” she cheered.

“I said stop!” Jordan roared again, hopping mad. “You’re going to get us all killed! This is crazy!” With the sparkling diamond held over the side, Jordan barely restrained himself from jumping back into the fight.

“You wouldn’t,” One-Eye said, glaring at Jordan. “That diamond’s worth a fortune.”

“And it’s going to get us all killed,” Jordan retorted. “It’s cursed.”

One-Eye laughed. “There’s no such thing.”

But Pegleg Annaliza shook her head and said, “Look around, One-Eye. Isn’t this the very definition of a curse? We’ve nearly sunk our own ship!”

Jordan nodded. “She has the right of it,” he said. “Oh, there isn’t some mystical curse on the diamond. But there is a curse. It is the curse of greed. The saying is true that where your treasure is there will your heart be also. Look at us! We’re willing to kill each other all for this rock.”

One-Eye Jacen shook his head and said, “But I need it. I need to get my brothers out of prison.”

“And you need it for your mother,” Jordan said, looking at Pegleg. He scanned the rest of the crew. “I bet you all need it for one reason or another—all good reasons too, but look at us. Look at what greed has driven us to. Is it worth it?”

“Look,” Jacen said, “if you don’t want it, give it to me. We’ll call off the mutiny.”

Jordan snorted. As if it was that easy. “No,” he said, “we’ll continue to fight among ourselves until we’re all dead. This diamond is indeed cursed.”

About that time, the Aztec princess came back up on deck, wiping the crumbs away from some pastry she had just finished eating. “The captain finally understands,” Bella said. “This is what happened to the crew of the Jane Doe. You people are all the same. You see easy riches and are willing to fight each other for it.” She turned to Jordan and held out her hand. “The only way to break the curse is to return the diamond to me and take me back to my father.”

Jordan shook his head. “I don’t think so,” he said. “As long as this diamond is on my ship, someone will be tempted to try and take it.” He took a deep breath. “This crew is more important than any diamond or fortune. Look at us. We can’t get along. We’re willing to hurt each other. We aren’t a team. We’re a mess. And we value a rock more highly than we do each other. If we ever do find a pirate ship, they’ll slaughter us.”

Jordan remembered something his father had taught him. He added, “Until we realize that people are more important than things, that only by kindness and preferring one another before ourselves can we ever be victorious, we will be our own worst enemies.” He looked at One-Eye. “There will always be brothers we need to help.” He turned to Pegleg. “There will always be loved ones who are suffering. The answer to these things is not in this diamond. They are found in each other and in our God.”

“What are you suggesting then?” One-Eye demanded.

Jordan responded, “I’m going to throw the diamond into the ocean. Remove temptation. Then we can get back to doing what we’re supposed to do—as a team.”
The crew all looked at each other, considering. It helped that the ship was awash in sails and rigging from the destruction of the main mast. They knew what would happen if they continued down this road.

Finally, both One-Eye Jacen and Pegleg Annaliza nodded. “Your call, captain,” Annaliza said.

Relief flooded through Jordan’s body. He’d staved off a mutiny and unified his crew. In the coming days (after they repaired the mast), they’d be able to do their jobs as a team. His crew had heart, had the skills and talent necessary to succeed with God’s help, but they only needed the right priorities. Truly, where one’s treasure was the heart followed.

Jordan nodded back at his crew. “Then so be it.” He dropped the diamond into the ocean.

The Aztec Princess screamed and rushed to the gunwale, but it was too late. Jordan had saved his crew, and that was all that mattered.

But then Seaweed Korbyn’s voice floated up from the surface of the ocean. “Caught it!”

Jordan had forgotten that the sailor was down there. For the longest moment, everyone simply stared at each other in frozen astonishment. Then One-Eye Jacen shifted his eyepatch to his other eye revealing two perfectly good eyes all along. And as if that was a signal, half the crew, as one, ran to the side of the ship and jumped overboard after the diamond.
Poor Seaweed. He didn’t stand a chance.

Some lessons, Jordan mused to himself as he leaned against the gunwale, needed to be relearned before they could sink in.

THE END