In my editing of other authors’ novels, I’ve discovered that many authors have a blind spot when it comes to descriptive writing, especially of people and places. I want to address (rant about) some of these things in the hopes that Christian authors will improve their skills and write better fiction. It is in these stories that we can share many of our Christian values and truths and thus make a real impact on the world around us.

So here goes!

Don’t Get Overly Descriptive

One fault I see from many writers is a need to wax eloquent over nonessential information. A character who appears only once in your story doesn’t need to be described in exquisite detail. You only need to offer a vague impression and let the reader fill in the details with their own imagination. Since the character will only appear once (or a few times) and has no essential, continuing role in your story, keep your description simple. Here is an example:

The bearded clerk looked me over as if I was one of his slabs of meat for sale. I tried a friendly smile on him, which only made his aged face frown deeper.

There are only three descriptors in the above interaction. The clerk will never be part of the story again, but there is enough here to give a reader enough to imagine him and fill in any details necessary in their mind. The three descriptors are: bearded, clerk, aged face. It is not even necessary to describe what the man is wearing. He’s a clerk. How do you think clerks dress? Then that is good enough for the reader, too.

Here’s another example:

Henry ducked under the hoodlum’s meaty fist and backpedaled away. Where did this guy come from?! Henry didn’t mind a scrap or two, but this guy meant business. Henry set himself as his large attacker waded in, swinging his fists like bricks, his small piggish eyes glaring death at Henry. Well, no one could claim Henry ever backed down from a fight. He japed his attacker in the stomach as hard as he could. It had no affect whatsoever. Uh-oh.

After this fight, the hoodlum will never be in the story again or might only appear once or twice more. He is a minor character, a means of pushing the plot along. You don’t need to stop and give a lot of detail about him. In the action above, I only mention a meaty fist, small, piggish eyes, and that he was large. That is enough. A reader can picture him quite clearly without an entire paragraph overly detailed description. You don’t even need to describe what the fellow was wearing. No one will assume he’s unclothed, and his clothes don’t matter. Now, if there was something unique about his clothing, something that identifies him as part of a group, then yes, you will need to show that. Otherwise, don’t waste the reader’s time.

Describe as Part of the Action, Flow, and Interaction of Your Story

One mistake many authors make is breaking away from the story to describe a person or place. This breaks the flow of your story. It’s kinda like hitting a road bump while driving. You’re reading along and all of a sudden:

The man who swung at me was large. He had fists that looked like hammers. His face was fat with small, piggish eyes. The man stood perhaps, six foot two, weighed something like three hundred pounds and had black hair that fell to the nape of his neck. He was dressed in dirty jeans and a t-shirt that sported a simple exclamation mark on the front. He wore steel-toed boots.

For a minor character or even a major character, stopping the story to write all that is jarring. The reader is moving along and bam! Stop the story! Describe the new character. Groan. This may very well cause irritation in a reader. Instead, describe things as the action unfolds. Let the interaction of the two characters aid in the description of the attacker. My first example of this character under the previous section is a perfect illustration of describing the attacker as the action happens.

Here is an example of doing this while describing a place:

Stepping into the church foyer was illuminating for Karen. She’d not been in a church for years. She glanced nervously at the well-dressed man standing behind a table labeled “Visitor Center” and tried to think of a way of avoiding him. Several overstuffed chairs looked inviting as possibilities, and the aroma of bagels and cream cheese called to her from another part of the foyer. But both locations were filled with strangers. Instead, before the greeter could say anything, she darted to a coffee pot near the bagels and poured herself a cup. She needed it. To avoid speaking to anyone, she stared at the celling, noting stained-glass windows and maple crown molding. She sipped her coffee and traced the woodgrain with her eyes. Perhaps if she looked like she was praying, people would leave her alone.

In the paragraph above, the church foyer is described but done so via the interaction of the main character, Karen. The description becomes part of the action, part of the story, rather than a separate paragraph that disrupts the flow of the story. The reader adopts the description into an emerging image of action and interaction, allowing the plot and flow to move forward uninterrupted.

Hope this helps some!

Happy writing.