One of my pet-peeves when reading or editing is when authors use dialogue to inform the reader of information they think is important—but it’s information that the characters either already know, can see for themselves, or would already assume to be true. This means the dialogue comes off strangely, as if stick-figures are talking in a robotic voice.

Here’s an example of what I mean:

“How do I get out of the hospital?” Peter asked the clerk.

“You go out that red door by the white chair at the end of the hall,” she replied.

Sooo, first off, people don’t talk like that unless the objects referred to are not in sight and more detail will be required for the character—not the reader. If the door is visible, people just point to it. So her response should be:

“How do I get out of here?” Peter asked the clerk.

“You go out that door,” she replied.

The characters would completely understand each other because both can see the door and know they’re in a hospital already. However, sometimes it is important to give more information to the reader. In such a case, this is how it would be done:

“How do I get out of here?” Peter asked the clerk, gesturing around at the hospital hallway.

“You go out that door,” she replied, pointing to a red door at the end of the hall.

And if the chair is of vital importance, then here is another way it could be done:

“You go out that door,” she replied, pointing to a red door at the end of the hall. Peter nodded his thanks and headed down the hall, noting an unoccupied white, swivel chair next to the exit.

Too often, particularly with new and inexperienced authors, writers will try to use dialogue to give information to the reader that would not normally be spoken in the course of normal conversation. Here’s another example:

“I had to run home to my blue house,” Mary explained to Rachel.

Again, no one talks like that. She would have simply said, “I had to run home.” It is important when writing dialogue that you stick as close to how people talk as you can. Anything else robs your story of depth and causes your characters to sound odd to a reader.

Here are some tips on writing authentic dialogue:

1. Characters talk to characters, not to readers. So, don’t use the character’s dialogue to deliver information that the character would not normally mention to other characters.
2. Dialogue is often dependent upon what the characters can see, hear, taste, touch, smell, assume the other characters know already, and the commonality of the subject matter.
3. Dialogue isn’t about information; it’s about natural communication. How would two people communicate a subject when standing next to each other, over the phone, or when trying to be secretive?

Here are few more examples:

1. “We should find Judy.” The characters assume that each knows what Judy looks like, so they would not mention her physical appearance. If, however, one has never met Judy before, the dialogue could go like this: “We should find Judy—uh, the tall girl with blond hair.”
2. “Look at those clouds!” This line of dialogue is good since all characters can look at the clouds. What would not be said is something like this: “Look at those dark, ominous clouds to the northeast of town.” Only if someone couldn’t see the clouds, such as talking to someone on the phone, would this last line be said—and even then, it probably wouldn’t be said in quite that way.
3. “How’s the football season looking this year? We have a chance?” These two lines of dialogue would be natural conversation. Something unnatural might sound like: “How’s the football season looking for 2020? You’ve been practicing for two weeks now with coach Holland. Do you think we have a chance to win the state championship?” The added information would be assumed knowledge between the characters, so it would likely not be said. They would understand each other completely without the additional info.

Use your other writing to inform the reader of vital information, but keep your dialogue authentic and natural.